One day, me and hubby having this quite "serious" talk about success. 

Trigger percakapan tersebut karena kita 'menemukan' beberapa orang di sekitar mencapai sesuatu yang besar dalam hidup mereka. Ada yang baru naik jabatan, ada yang bisnisnya lagi laris manis, ada yang berangkat traveling lagi, ada yang pindah ke rumah baru, dan lain-lain.

BPN DAY 23: I Regret These Things, But Not Looking Back Anymore

Tema blog post hari ini termasuk sebuah tantangan cukup berat, yaitu tentang hal-hal yang kita sesali.

Sebuah topik yang personal, sampai terpikir apa nulis tema pengganti aja, ya. Karena males aja gitu harus inget-inget yang dulu lagi. Padahal, kan, katanya yang sudah berlalu biarkan berlalu, yes? 

Tapi aku juga penasaran, apa jadinya kalau aku bisa menuliskan penyesalanku di sini dan menjadikannya sebagai pembelajaran hidup di kemudian hari.

BPN DAY 22: Why I Can't be a Full Time Blogger

Another interesting topic about blogging. 

Sebelum masuk ke poin utama, aku ingin ngomong dikit tentang bisnis blogging. 

Sejujurnya aku kurang mendalami dunia blogging di dalam negeri, sih. Aku nggak tau siapa blogger tersukses di Indonesia, blogger siapa yang punya omset terbesar dan sebagainya. Tapiii, aku merasa bisnis blogging di sini dengan di luar negeri ada perbedaan yang cukup mencolok. 

Not Good Enough

I've been spending most of my days lately thinking that I'm not good enough. 

I'm not good enough on doing my job. I'm trying every single days to love what I do. I don't hate the job, it is just not my thing. The only thing I know about this job is that we're making some money. No job, no money. No money, no living. While I'm not hating the job, I'm also feeling guilty not doing what I supposed to do. But, what actually that I supposed to do?

I'm not good enough as a wife. Andreas still wakes me up in the morning, while some of wives out there might get up first and prepare all things in the morning. I often get lost in the kitchen. Sometimes I don't know what to cook, and worry too much if my hubby gets bored with his daily scrambles/sunny-side-up for breakfast, just because that the only dish I can cook the best and he loves it... and he actually never complains. Sometimes I feel I can't manage our financial well. There's a time I'm easily spending our money but the other time I afraid we're spending too much. Why do we spend the money for a fancy meal? Don't we have to save more for a house? For the baby? For the investment?

And right now, I'm feeling that I will probably not good enough as a mom. I know this is silly, the baby still on the way. But some part of me, it seems so scary already. As another part of me thinking that "I'm not good enough as a wife", how could it possible for me to be a good mom. 

 

After you done reading this, you might find this is only crappy post written by someone who is dealing with both her identity-crisis and being pregnant.

Or perhaps this is just a thing called, pregnancy brain?

Passion Reminder

 

 Credit: Pinterest

"Passion is not a job, a sport or a hobby. It's the full force of your attention and energy that you give to whatever right in front of you." (Terri Trespicio on TEDxKC)

The Greatest Week (Ever)

1. It has been raining for whole week.

2. I cooked and enjoyed Indomie Goreng Jumbo by myself while re-watching HIMYM season 7. 

3. Asked hubby I wanted to take a day off and he agreed.

4. I owe Go-Food service million times. Thank you for delivering me bubble tea, mie ayam, pangsit kuah, Hokben this week.

5. I got scolded because they feel dissapointed of what I did. Stressed out little bit and the situation has effected my health and went to doctor few days ago. That's okay. Everyone makes mistake. Nobody can be liked by everybody. Shit happens (pardon my French). Instead of blaming and crying over myself, things still can be fixed. Beside, I still have few reasons to be thankful for. 

Morning Notes

 A Place of Art

Lately I feel that God has taught me a lot about being patience, less worrying about life and surrender all things to Him. Now I become less grumbling and complaining, and surprisingly I found myself simply enjoying my days. Finding yourself in another (better) version of you, sometimes, it feel weird but feel great too. I believe in process. We somehow never knew where God leads us to, as long as I follow Him through His plan, everything is gonna be fine. Perhaps it will turn out so much better than you imagined before.

20 Things I Am (Always) Grateful For

1. Having dinner with beloved family members in the dinning room. We share stories, we share laughs, we share ideas, we share love. 

2. Have enough for each day. Sometimes I have even more than I need.

3. A cup of nice coffee every morning. 

4. Sun for the day, stars for the night. 

5. Warm and fluffy yellow duck to cuddle. 

6. Night phone calls from dearest one: How was your day? Are you ready to sleep?

7. Knowing some people care you that much, maybe better than yourself. 

8. Parents who sometimes like to argue, at the end they just love each other again. Reminds me that true loves are exist.

9. Books that stored on the shelf, so I don't have to worry what to read every time I have trouble of sleeping, instead of counting the sheeps. 

10. A faith that God has given to me. Not because what I have done, but because He loves me in the first place. 

11. Two hands to do my most favorite thing (maybe for a lifetime): writing. 

12. Energy to do Zumba dance every Monday morning for 50 minutes.

13. People who keep coming back to make us fry more risoles for them in our store. Thank you.

14. Awesome people that don't know how to stop doing awesome things. 

15. Learning how to live to the fullest is just to be in the present.

16. Have two brothers that always make your days richer. Three of us like to share every lesson that we have learned.

17. Learning some secrets about life: have a thankful heart is the only way to appreciate everything; give more doesn't make you poor; pray and love people who doesn't (really) like the way you are. 

18. A friend who reminds you to drink plenty of mineral water every day because you drink too much caffeine. 

19. Listening to your favorite song 10 times a day and you will never get tired of it.

20. I was made as what I am. I would spend my lives doing the good things that God had planned for me to do so. A new hope and a good future has given to me.

Inspired by this post written by Brianna Wiest from Thought Catalog

Theme for 2013: Experiencing and Expanding | HAPPY NEW YEAR

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2013!!

I'm so happy I did my post on the first day in 2013, well today is went quite fast, actually. I stayed at my room for whole day with my dear assignments. Sad? No. Because I spent my time to watch a Korean drama, I Miss You (high-recommended!), I don't know but I feel proud LOL 

So, how about your first day on 2013? Are you going to holiday? With family, friends, your loves and whoever is, I hope you have a great day and make sure you're gonna have a joyful year! Last night,
I did my goal-setting in Excel format, which is here: 

Yes it's blank. The contents are private :P 

I've done my goal-setting before in my journal, I even wrote it before the end of 2012, in November I guessed. I'm sure I am a goal-setter-addict! I don't like make expectation in my life or something like "going with the flow", no I'm not. I love making goals, although it's REALLY hard but I'm so excited! As you can read my post title, yes my theme for 2013 are experiencing and expanding.

1. Experiencing

I should experience moreeee than last year. Experience in my future job, financial things, relationship, NETWORKING, etc etc. I decided to play this game, I want to make 2013 to be a DAZZLING *yeah I love this word* year in my life.

2. Expanding

I got this theme when God told me "you have to enlarge your territory", I was quite shock and I asked God back like "what? where are You going to send me to?" But God said, "I have a plan, you have to be My partner. Let's do teamwork, Jane." I swear I don't know what is God going to do but I trust Him. And oh, last December I got a hint for this theme, a really BIG hint and I still so surprised, haha

The goal setting I made was based on Arriane's "the young go-getter's guide to staying organized and motivated", you can check it because it's really useful! I'm not Excel person but I dare myself to set my all goals with this tool, and it's fun. I choose to take this goals seriously (I mean real serious one, which I will be a professional one!). I know there are gonna be moreeeee challenge in 2013, but I have full confident to go through this year. You know why?

"As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." -Isaiah 55:8-9

Yes, because I know my God is bigger than anything even my fears to catch all my dreams. I got this verse while doing my goal setting and I feel so happy. I thank God for everything in 2012, seriously... FULL OF SURPRISES. People say counts your blessings, yeah I'm trying to count but it's too much! Once again, thanks Lord God! (: 

How bout your goals for 2013, guys? Whatever are they, I hope you have bigger dreams for this year and let's we make it happens! Good luck and be blessed! 

New Year's picture above courtesy of Almara Shop, edited by myself.

DAYDREAM RECENTLY

What have I been up to recently? I'm pretty fine, life is good. Try to learn something new every day, still learn how to deal with myself. So, yeah... my life is so wonderful. It's too bad if I don't share something I have learned to all of you.

Few months ago, when I was reading Alanda Kariza's book, Dream Catcher, she wrote about Steve Jobs's commencement at Stanford University in 2005. I was wondering so I checked for it immediately on Youtube. My heart feels so warm, touched and more than that... inspired, by this amazing person. And suddenly, I found myself, I miss Jobs. 

Too bad, we lost the most powerful person in this world last year. But I believe, Jobs never regretted about how he gave all of his potential and big ideas for us from his big works. I'm not an Apple person, but at least, I learn something from this Apple Man. Okay, maybe I don't understand about what's new from Apple, iOS something bla bla bla. But, I do love ToyStory, Pixar short movies ( they're so cute overload!). Pixar would never born if Steve Jobs never got fired by his own company, Apple. Wonder why? Watch this video and trust me, in the time between fifteen minutes, you will get inspired too. No big deal, just stories from Jobs... (: 

"Sometimes life hits us in the head with a brick, don't lose faith." -Steve Jobs (1955-2011)

What Faith Can Do

Before I made this post, I was thinking what I’m going to write about. I was browsing along in Youtube, watched a lot videos from Jayesslee channel (I love this twins!), and my brain was working to find an idea to write. Finally, I really got a very good idea to share with you all now.

Do you guys know Jayesslee? Or known well as Janice and Sonia, yes they’re twins. I won’t introduce them in my post since you can just click it and find out, I will share about a video that was recorded in Singapore, where the girls are invited to City Harvest church. They shared a testimony about the one who encourage them a lot since kids until they grown up. The one they called as “Mama”. 

I literally cried when I watched this video. I cried because I found the twins were very strong even when they were in difficult times and the time when their mom was diagnosed as cancer. You will know how the twins’ feeling after you watched the video, the feeling when you are told you would lose your beloved one in days. They didn’t know about what cancer is until they were in high school. By that time, they started to know how serious this cancer about and started angry with God, too. When Sonia (which on the left, who played the guitar) said, the teachers in Sunday School always say “God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good”, she tried to believe but it didn’t make sense to her, because her mom was in very bad condition, my tears fell down. Don’t you guys think sometimes… or maybe oftentimes, we like to blame God for things happened in our life. The Bible said, “always be grateful”, but we think that’s crazy. As a human, “grateful” this word isn’t even available when we’re in hard times. We just keep asking God, “Why God You did this to me?” instead. 

But you know what, God hears you when you blame Him. God hears you when you cried out in your hard times. God hears when you start to mad at Him, blame Him thousand times, He hears you. We only see the negative when we are in difficult times, we use human’s glasses, not God’s. If we try to see things from His glasses, we know there will be always a positive. More even than that, we shall put FAITH in our life. Yes, faith. Faith make anything possible, faith can move the mountains, faith can renew the broken hearts, faith can make miracles. That’s what faith can do. 

It’s almost impossible to have faith in our life, when anything seems even more difficult than before, but trust me, I live by faith. And one more thing about faith, it makes us to become deeper and deeper in Him. Janice and Sonia had proven to us what they got from faith, so how about us know? (: 

Thanks bunch if you spent your little time to read this post, I hope you be blessed. And of course a special thanks for the twins, Janice and Sonia, you both rock! I love you both, you inspired me a lot and stay blessed!  

Good Bye

Trust me, it's not a sad post.

First, do you guys miss me? :P I miss my blog A LOT. I miss writing. I miss writing like this without even care about words amount that I type, like what I did with my assignment papers *sigh*

Back to writing topic, when I opened up my blogspot dashboard few days ago, I spotted that my best friend, Sastika, finally posted up many of new writings. Last time I checked her blog she didn’t write anything and when I stalked around in her blog again after watched her video cover with Agustine (which is very good one and surprisingly, I became their first official fan! *GO GO GI!*), I found a post that made me a little bit emotional. If you wonder which post is it, click this one.

Good bye. I have a same thought with Sastika too, why people always say there’s a GOOD in goodbye word. I never understand about that word before until I said it to my beloved one. 

 

the day we separated for good.

It has been a week after the day he went home to Indonesia and I can’t still believe the fact he wasn’t around me anymore. It feels a little bit weird. One week before “the day”, I asked Sastika, “how was the feeling when you said a good-bye with the one who you really love?”  She laughed before give me an answers. She told me like she wrote on her blog. People come and go in our life, they step to their new chapter, so do we. Things go on and on, so do we. Nothing gonna change that.

I’m so glad I still ‘alive’ until now, I mean I’m not that broke like people think about me before. How funny they always said to me that I will survive or not without him and about our long distance relationship for one year. I’m okay, really. And I know all of you care about me, thanks a bunch! I know it’s hard at first, but this is a chance for us to grow up. A chance for us to become a "single" again and focus to our future. Of course a chance to have long distance relationship too. LDR is really fun! The moment every night I wait for his calls from home and then we talk all night along until fall asleep. I tell him a lot about my day in school and he tells me a lot about his job. And oh, we have our favorite words now on phone, “How’s your day?” :D

Good bye. It’s really a good one. Thanks God, He gave us a chance to learn about this. Before the ending, I wanna tell you something. Few days more is our kind of anniversary day. We actually had celebrated the day one month ago, he promised to take me to somewhere I wanted to visit so bad, The Peak, Hong Kong. And he kept it! You can see the proof here:

Thanks for reading! I'm so happy I can share a lot here to all of you. 

Sorry about being cheesy at last :P I wish you all have a good night!

Be blessed ♥

SEMBILAN BELAS

"Don't you think time is walking TOO fast??

Okay, really... you're not longer a little-young-girl, Jane...

You're now officially NINETEEN!"

Kesan buat Si Sembilan Belas?

Gue hampir nggak percaya kalau umur gue saat ini sudah sembilan belas. umur yang udah di menuju ambang pintu kepala dua. Bahasa lebay menurut gue, masa remajaku akan segera hilang, deh. Semalem di chat gue ngomong kayak gitu ke salah satu teman, dia bilang, makin tua sih pasti, cuman setiap umur pasti ada kesenangannya sendiri, jadi nggak perlu sedih makin tua nggak bisa senang-senang. Gue pikir, apa yang dia bilang ada benernya juga, sih. Lagipula gue juga nggak mungkin selamanya tujuh belas atau delapan belas, kan? (;

Harapan buat Si Sembilan Belas?

Harapan, yah? Sama kayak wishes kan, yah? Emm... jujur, wishes gue sama kayak tahun lalu, nggak berubah, hahaha! Masih sekitar soal keluarga, diri sendiri dan prestasi. Yang pasti, makin tua, makin dewasa aja, deh. Kalau kata my mom, gue udah bukan anak kecil lagi yang masih harus bergantung sama orang tua. Bukan bearti sekarang gue bener-bener udah nggak bergantung sama orang tua gue, ya. Cuman maksud beliau, gue harus udah bisa cari peluang job sendiri sekarang. Minimal gue punya pengalaman kerja sebelum gue lulus kuliah nanti. Mumpung gue sekarang ada di negeri seberang, nggak ada salahnya juga buat cari tahu soal pekerjaan. Apalagi di sini channel-nya luas banget! Yahh... Gue nggak berani banyak berharap, sih... wish yang terbaik aja dari Tuhan (:

Lain-lainnya?

Lain-lainnya sharing foto-foto pas ulangt tahun aja kali yah. Oh iya, tahun ini spesial sih, soalnya yang ulang tahun tanggal 25 Oktober ini nggak cuman gue, tapi ada satu teman lagi namanya Michael, dia berulang tahun ke lima belas! *applause*

Foto-foto di bawah ini diambil sama si abang ganteng kita yang lagi liburan ke Guangzhou, the only one Kokoh Indra! 

The birthday cake!


The birthday kids! We shared our birthday cake! 





The photographer!


Best friend! (:

Tambahan lainnya:

Dua kado terbaik dari dua sahabat terbaik.

Yang satu memberikan mini pudding-cake nggak lupa dengan lilin kecil, diantar ke kamar tepat pukul 12 malam di saat gue habis berdoa! Langsung make a wish malam itu juga wohoo. Thanks my dear you are so sweet!

Thanks a BUNCH Sastika Taniady! I LOVE U FULL.
Kuenya enak banget loh, ternyata cheese cake yah!

Yang satunya lagi, my long-distance best friend wrote the whole birthday letter in her own Tumblr.
Entah sejak kapan dia jadi ramah bermain sotosop, ralat... dia bermain dengan sotoskep katanya
(ternyata sotoskep itu Photoscape, yaelah!). Yah apapun itu, MAKASIH banget yah Princess Kina!
Sedih sih, lagi-lagi kita nggak bisa lewatin ulang tahun bareng ):
Tapi nggak apa-apa, aku tetap senang kita bisa melewatinya bersama di MSN semalaman sampai ngakak-ngakak, hahaha! We always do this every time gitu loh!
But anyway, here what she wrote in her blog. Nggak tau kenapa dia obsesi banget jadi princess sampe bikin cerita dongeng gini LOL

***

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful little princess named Princess Kina. She was a very cheerful and full of joy little princess. She lived in a beautiful palace in a private island with her family. But one day, she had to move to another island and a new palace with her family because their own island was going to be attacked by another lame kingdom. So then they moved to a new and a bigger island, called island J.

Princess Kina who used to be a cheerful little girl changed into a not-talk-so-much type of princess. She felt like she did not want to leave her island and her master bedroom in her ex-palace. She was so sad because she had to leave her friends on the island, the friends who always accompany her to play, sing and dance together. She was so damn sad.

Until she entered her new palace, she was first so afraid with everybody new and strange to her. Especially when she knew that her parents were no longer the king and the queen of the new palace. She realized that she had to start to know everyone knew in that new palace. So, she had no idea where and when to start.

Lucky that there was a Gala Dinner in the palace. Everyone was invited, including Princess Kina and her family. Ah, as usual Princess Kina, she couldn’t ask people first, or smile first. A very shy yet fabolous. (*puke*) .

So, she was standing near her daddy’s feet, the suddenly, “Hi! My name is Princess Jane! What is your name?” a talkative and chic little girl who claimed herself princess talked to Princess Kina. Then, Princess Kina did not answer her, she was hiding to her daddy. Princess Kina felt insecure. But that little girl did not give up. She gave her hand asking Princess Kina to shake hand with her and then maybe to ask Princess Kina to become her friend. AH! When you are in this kind of situation, your parent must be helping you. Princess Kina’s daddy said ” Kina, introduce yourself, please! She is Princess Jane, the daughter of King John and Queen June! She is a nice friend you know. Shake your hand!”

Then, they shook hand. “I am Princess Jane. What is your name? Can i be your friend?” the little girl repeated her words. “My.. my.. my name is Princess Kina. Hallo, Jane!” replied Princess Kina. Then Princess Kina’s dad said, “Princess Kina, Princess Jane is a princess also, just like you. So, therefore you still want to be called Princess Kina, you should call her Princess Jane. You got it?”. “Okay, Princess Jane.” said Princess Kina. “So, are we friends now?” asked Princess Jane.

And, it was a little story about two little princess when they first started their friendship. The time flies so fast, until these two little princesses realized that they were not “a princess”. They were just two ordinary girl who likes to call themselves “Princess”. They have grown up now. They even are not living together anymore like years before. Princess Kina still lives in Island J with her family. But, Princess Jane lives in Island C right now. Her family still lives in Island J and even still building the Kingdom with Princess Kina’s parents.

And today, actually, Princess Jane is celebrating her 19 years old born day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wah. I can’t believe i just mentioned that. Ah. I have no idea why does it so hard for me to say this. Maybe because Princess Kina told me that she was missing Princess Jane too much, like too much so much. She told me that she was so sad because she could not celebrate Princess Jane’s born day together due to the distance that seperating them. So, by this great time to talk, Princess Kina asked me to type this to Princess Jane, and also to Prince Yu (who is now in a relationship with Princess Jane.

“Dear Princess Jane, happy born day! Wah, i could not believe that you are a 19 years old princess now. Today, i woke up and read a reminder in my cell-phone saying ‘Jane is getting older today’, and i was happy to know that yet i was so sad that we could not celebrate it together. By this message, i would like to wish you happiness and i hope that you can smile each day, even in your hardest day or your heaviest weight( you need diet!). And even though it is too hard to smile, then don’t forget to remember me or your parents or your boyfriend or your Savior! I miss you too much. And to you Prince Yu, i order you to respect Princess Jane, to be humble even though you are dating the coolest Princess on earth, to love her and to take care of her and also take care of yourself because if you are not healthy then who else will take care of her, and from now on you are also my friend ! You’re so lucky, you know? And, Jane, i have a present for you. Please wait in an hour then i’ll give it directly to you, so please be ONLINE! And now, blow the candle! 1,2,3 …..

THANKS a BUNCH for Kina Grace! I MISS YOU SOOOOOO
Ini dia kue dari kerajaan untuk Princess yang berulang tahun, hahaha!

Be Grateful

Manusia itu nggak pernah merasa puas, setuju?
Skala kepuasan manusia itu nggak pernah ada abisnya, dikasih ini bilangnya nggak cukup, dikasih yang itu maunya lebih, itulah kita, manusia.
Tapi nggak buat kita sebagai anak-anaknya Daddy, I mean... our Jesus Christ :D
Daripada kita ngeluh nggak puas sama ini-itu, lebih baik kita mencoba untuk mengucap syukur aja deh sama setiap berkat yang kita terima. Berkat nggak harus selalu yang 'wah' kok, dari hal sekecil apapun kita harus mengucap syukur. Bangun pagi masih bisa buka mata, masih bisa merasakan detak jantung, masih bisa merasakan hangatnya sinar matahari, kita juga masih bisa bilang, "Thanks God for another good day!".

Dan itulah alasan juga kenapa gue bergabung dengan sebuah blog yang (ternyata oh ternyata) dibuat sama beberapa teman gereja. And guess what, I'm officially become the one of the blog's author! Yeay! Thanks ci usi for inviting me, so GRATEFUL :D
Tujuan blog ini cuman satu, kita pengen sama-sama belajar untuk mengucap syukur dalam segala hal yang terjadi dalam hidup kita. Ya seperti yang gue bilang tadi, dalam hal apapun kamu bisa mengucap syukur.
Silakan masuk ke alamat blog ini bagi yang ingin membaca postingan "GRATEFUL" kita.
http://b-gr8ful.blogspot.com/

Whatever happens, give thanks, because it is God’s will in Christ Jesus that you do this.
1 Thessalonians 5:18